Drew

You believe that creating your best possible life is a matter of deciding what you want and then going after it, but in reality, you are psychologically incapable of being able to predict what will make you happy. 

I read that line in an article this morning as I sat in my office chair at 7:30am trying to get a head start on a tough day, and it hit my heart with an element of truth. I live a happy life, I think it is just the way I am programed, I love every stupid thing. But it really is hard to shape a life in the way you thought it would turn out when you were a child, day dreaming about one day driving a car, or getting married, or whatever it is that one thinks about. The things religion or society teaches us, as a blanket statement, a check list of things that will make you happy. Money, Love, Family. And as my life molds more and more into something I didn't think it would become, it is almost comical that it still catches me by surprise.

It's Drew's last day at Experticity. We are headed out to breakfast to say goodbye in a bit. It caught him by surprise and has left him quite sad. That, among other things have sent me for a mini world wind. I wish I had more of the ability to roll with the punches and not get so emotionally attached to people, to events, to ideas and plans. But it is a bit of a catch 22 because it is also one of the things I love about myself, not living a flat lined life. Living a life bursting in color and high emotion.

I think about the sad day when we closed Macaroni Grill, all my little servers and cooks that I had trained and worked with and yelled at, and fell in love with, standing there very solemn with big tears in their eyes, not knowing what life would give them next and feeling hopeless. I thought I would be there forever, we all kind of did. But now Experticty has and been such a good thing for me, and as I hear stories about what happened to all those employees, we are fine. Most of us are in a bester position then we were before. So I can't help thinking the idea that change is good. Drew and life, they have the same hunger, the same sucker-punch. In the end neither him nor I can predict the life that will made either of us happy.

But I will miss him terribly, with every ounce of me.