Becoming Devine

I met her, I talked to her. 

I felt like I had to so she knew I'm really not a creepy person, and with a slight hope to show her I am a funny, harmless person. . . I'm mot CRAZY, I'm FUNNY.

Plus I never wanted to be rude, I would never outright make fun of anyone. 

A while ago I stumbled onto a adorable girl and her videos that she made. At first I was intrigued by the wedding dress she had I thought it was lovely, but the more videos I watched the more I thought she was so sweet, so girly. She (at the  time) didn't have a huge following, I didn't think this girl, this cyber girl's life would ever mingle with mine, I never thought we would have the same friends, or even run into each other. 

I would laugh at She Blogs, She blogs and her blog posts about how she wanted the life of Gwyneth Paltrow.

So I started a blog, a joke, a joke-blog to track my progress. . 

And some may say "McKay, there is truth behind every joke" well, yeah I agree, I seriously thought she was great, I seriously wish I could wash my hair more, and stop saying things like "awe, shit" and be more girly like her, that's not a joke, that is real life!

But I thought I would put a creative spin on it. I'm a blogger, and with all 12 of you that follow me, I was sure no one would even notice I had started another blog. 

Thus began the journey/blog that was, in a pun of her blog, simply called "Becoming Devine"

I looked at some of the HTML of her blog and created a space that was close to hers. 

And I let the blogging begin.

With only one comment from my sister, I figured no one was reading, and I was fine with it, it was mostly for me to get a kick out of. (I am SO funny)

But then a call from an old friend ended things, right after images started to be reported on my blog (images I had doctored up in the 'paint' program to make it look like we were friends) . . . .

The old friend played catch-up for a while before he jumped into "hey, so do you know Hailey Devine?'

Apparently there had been tears shed over the possibility that I was a stalker, apparently it wasn't fun and games. Even with my friend saying "you just have to know McKay, this is a joke"

The Devines failed to see the humor. 

I don't know why I thought she wouldn't see the blog, and when she did she wouldn't care.

But I stopped the blog in fear it was rude.

(I, personally, would feel flattered! Please if any of you reading are reading my blog wanting to know how to become more like me, let me know! I'll give ya some tips)

That was a while ago, I still look at her blog, she is having a baby. But for the most part I steer clear. 

Until last night. . 

At a fundraiser that I had been mildly involved with, there was a good number of people that showed up. 

And my eyes gaze across the room to see Hailey and Brad,

So surreal, until that moment it was like they had only existed online. 

So I formed a plan right there and then: Avoid her, avoid her and him, McKay they think you are crazy, Hailey thinks you are going to hurt her. Keep your distance.

All night I stuck to the plan and it was hard because the two of them were all over filming (of course)

But at the end of the night my head got the better of me.

Why shouldn't I say hi?

They are kind people, show them that you are too and they won't be scared!

So as they were packing up to go home, I walked right up to them.

I can't remembered the wording of what I said something simple "I follow your blog and love it, just wanted to say hi"

I wanted to mention my stalker blog with a "I'm sorry about that, it was more a joke then anything"

But what if she didn't know about the blog and I found myself tangled in an explanation. "Well, ya see, I made a blog that looked like yours and blogged all about you!"

Either way, no good. 

So I kept it simple, we started talking about Max (my brother DJ-ing the event) and they were impressed that Max actually mixes on stage (this is true Max is great) and Brad wanting more information about Max says "well, do you have Hailey's contact info?"

(hesitation)

"well, I know her blog"

Brad looks at Hailey with a 'lets give her our info' face

And Hailey jumps in with a 

"We will contact you!"

. . . . and in that moment I knew. 

I knew I was the crazy girl that she wanted to keep at arm's reach.

I knew she knew about my blog.

We said goodbye and that was it. 

So there is a lesson to be learned. . . 

1-When I am obsessed with someone, I shouldn't write a blog about them.

and 2- blogging is so dumb.

I say that- and I am a big blogger, the biggest. 

But anyone can paint life they want it to be perceived. And that is not to say the Devines weren't nice and wonderful in real life, because they totally were. 

But the online presents of some people might be the death of them.

I see too many people who make their life a picture perfect way online. And online, that 'perfect' world is achievable, it is possible. And I see other's who feel like there life is falling short when they compare. 

I think that was the underlined message I wanted to get across in Becoming Devine, with the confession that I fall victim to it too. 

I wish Mormon culture gave more breathable room for mistakes, for an embrace of any type of life. So we wouldn't spend so much time pretending life isn't the way it is and embracing every day for what it is. 

So, today chapter closes on the Devines, the magic was no more. 

And while I still find Hailey adorable, and there is a lot that she has that I don't

I have a entire life full of things that she never will, and I personally think I'm the one with the leg up on life. Talking to her made that clear. 

So I'm looking for a new Mentor. . if any of you would like to be my life coach let me know I'll check out your blog. 

I'm thinking THIS GUY could be fun to follow for a while. 

But I'm still brainstorming.