Weird.
So after class I was worried, and i really wanted someone to listen to it, just tell me it was ok now. . . so I decided not to go bowling and I checked myself into the ER.
They made me take off my clothes, took blood samples, ran all kinds of test. . one guy came in and stuck stickers all over my body and then hooked up all the stickers to wires.
My electric signals in my body were sending wrong messages to the heart, and they weren't sure why.
(at this point i felt fine, I knew if there was something wrong i was right where i needed to be)
I felt like i was a robot, I felt like i wasn't a human at all, instead i was all of these crazy people's science project. Everyone walking around me in scrubs, talking to each other like I wasn’t there. . . I was there for a long time, bored, they would leave me in this small room hooked up to all kinds of monitors. I would watch people walk past my room and look in at me, so i tried to look as pathetic as i could. At one point I heard Matt's laugh (Natalie's little BF who volunteers there) and I got so excited- so in a moment of excitement/boredom and a moment of mot thinking at all, I yelled really loud into the hall "MATT!" . . and they only person who heard was this nurse who gave me a "are you ok?/did you just scram into the hallway?" look. . . . so i just looked the other way and rested my head on my pillow.
In the end, to be safe, and see if they could catch it again, they decided to hook me up to a monitor for the next 24 hours.
All day i walked around with wires all over my body, and they all fed out at the bottom of my shirt into my pocket.
Today I was a robot, a real robot.
And as I walked around campus with the wires under my clothes I thought- No one knows my little heart is being monitored right now, no one knows that under my shirt i hide tons of wires. Some friends in passing would ask "hey how are you?" and i would say "Wired!" all crazy like, and then smile to myself.
And i wondered how many other robots where around me, or what people where hiding under their shirts.
And i would make eye contact with strangers, and we would exchange looks, and we both just knew they were a robot like me.
I guess my bionic heart is too big for my body. My heart really is the coolest part about my body.
I have pictures, cool pictures, I really wanted to post them on here- but I didn't know if pictures of me with just a black bra on where appropriate for my blog, kids might be reading.
I get results in a week
2 comments:
After you had your surgery did they ever tell you that there might be some problems or you might experience something like that? I hate hospitals, the only good thing they can bring are babies and even then they can take that away.
i hope you are okay, i'll say a little prayer for you
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