THIRTY

I keep replaying the night in my head, I have re-lived it many times.

The one moment that is still very clear to me is when I was alone standing next to my custom made cake and the world around me was singing and I stood there in my Grandma's red dress. 

I was searching for a wish to blow out my candles to and was overcome with emotion when I realized I wanted nothing more. Wishing that everyday I could feel a bit of the happiness I did in that moment.





It is hard to write about the emotion of the night so I will just list the facts: It goes as follows. . . .


Firday night Adam wanted to do something special.
Satuday was a night for my friends.

I had planned to go on the fun bus and was so pleased that Drew wanted to take over the planning and organize the fun bus for me so I didn't have to worry about it.

Firday rolls around. Adam informed me he was going to wear a tie, so I wore my Grandma's Red dress. Adam picks me up at 6:30.

Almost to the entrance of Mill Creek Canyon, and expecting Adam to want the night to be a surprise I finally ask where we were going.
"Log Haven"
This answer didn't surprise me, Adam had been given a gift card from co-workers long ago to go up there. It did however surprise me that he answered me, I thought he would string me along for a while.

I sat confident knowing that I was one step ahead.

The dinner was lovely, completely lovely. I was confused by the man trying to valet park the car by rolling down my window to chat.
I got elderberry juice in a wine glass.
Some tuna appetizer with ginger soaked mushrooms.
And some divine meet, I don't remember what it was, but it all was so good.
No dessert. We were too full.

Adam admits that his stomach hurt, and was happy that we didn't do dessert.
Adam has to go to the bathroom.
Adam is hobbled over in pain.

We leave after listening to the piano for a bit.
We walk outside and Adam coughs and it sent him over the edge, so much pain he couldn't walk, or talk or nothing.
I laugh, make jokes about punching him in the stomach.
Ask if we could go walk around the waterfall.

Adam is set on leaving.

We are driving down the canyon and Adam slightly reclines his seat so he could strech his stomach as he drove.

I told him we could go home, I would be fine with that.
He said he didn't want to keep me out too much later but he had one more surprise.

We drove and drove.

As we round the corner to Cactus and Tropicals I start to educate Adam.
"This is where Drew works"
"He is in there right now stressed about a wedding he has to do alone"

We pull up in to the parking lot.
My mind starts turning as to what may be going on but couldn't really find a conclusion because things were happening too quickly.

We get out of the car and I can see black heads moving around in the shadows of the Nursery.
I step inside to the lights going on and there I am, everywhere.
My face looking back at me.
People upon people all gathered around the door, holding masks of my face in front of there face.
The energy in the room was crazy, and I was so mixed with excitement and curiosity.

The room was huge with seemingly no ceiling, plants from JUMAJI came to life and had covered the walls.
The place was light with a warm glow and twinkly lights, with a fire outside.
Coming from a electronic corner was Max,  and Britney was pulsating though the entire place.

It was hugs and more hugs, until Drew grabbed me and gave me the tour.
A slideshow of myself.
Food and more food, everything decorated with gold insects, and honeycomb shapes.

The cake was a tower of perfection, the honeycomb hexagon with berries and raw honey comb.

Rob preformed a violin solo, and the birthday song was sung.

Andie brought me several changes of clothes, to change and dance.
Cake was served, and we danced.

It was overwhelming to feel that kind of love all directed to me.
The Danburrys came and gave me some home made soap and eggs from their chickens, I'd never seen Lanett's hair so long she looked beautiful.
Juje had come all the way from St George, and Hayley from Logan.
X-boyfrineds mingled with new boyfriends
Old co-workers and really old co-workers.
Sara with her cute husband Bryan took on the dance floor, while Adam's parents got a plate of food and watched the party from a safe distance.

Mike doge was there and I was told he brought himself a rockstar in my honor, I don't know if that is true or not, I like to think it is.
Sam and his friends.
Ward friends.

For some reason, and it may sound cheesy, but it had brought everything full circle that I had been feeling since the funeral. How important it is to celebrate life. To not wait until someone is gone for you to memorialize them.
I think about how lucky, blessed, whatever you want to call it. . . my life has been a unique one. And it is because of the people who surround me, who inspire me or help me, or put me in my place.

I think if I had all the money in the world I would spend my time and efforts in creating days like this one for others. To feel loved is the greatest feeling.