Miss McKay

3:07 am.

Tonight I was in bed before midnight, I was so proud of myself, that never happens to me anymore. . . and yet I lay wide awake, this bed is tilted, it is freaking me out.

I got out of bed at 1:40 to go down to the kitchen and eat some cookie dough and drink some milk, yet nothing. . . Just laying here, wide awake.

I hate this bed, I can't stand laying on it I am too aware of the tilt, I'm going to roll off. I hate Sam's room, I hate that the entire house is sleeping but me.

I wish someone was here to pop my back.

I miss Martha.

I thought blogging might calm my nerves and let my thoughts rest, (that, and you can only read so many "how to" from ehow.com before you start thinking "yeah, How to Become a Self Paranormal Investigator would be a good thing to know" )

. . . . I have tried everything else, reading, stretching, washing my face, making myself a bed on the floor. I went outside for a while, and that back fired drastically- the cold woke me right up.

The dream of running tomorrow morning with my dad is dead. I wish my bike was here, I would go ride it right now- Physically exhaust myself.

When I was living in London Canada we lived across the street from this wicked cool, old cemetery in this old apartment building, with a balcony that over looked the grave yard. I had top bunk in a room with four girls and two bunk bends. One night Miss bottom bunk was snoring up a storm and I couldn't sleep. So i went out on the balcony and watched the car's headlights create dark moving shadows between the tall catholic headstones.

My imagination runs away with me sometimes and that night i totally freaked myself out.

I ran back to my bunk and quickly and quietly wrapped myself in my blankets, after that i fell right asleep. . . . weird.

I that could have been the last time i had trouble sleeping, ok, no, there maybe was one or two more times after then, but i never have trouble sleeping, it is a great gift i have, and once I'm asleep, I'm out. I never wake up to toss and turn.

I bet i could hibernate.