Maybe if we both lived in a diffrent world.

I don't know if it is normal, and I really don't care if it is or not. But i spend a lot of time day dreaming, and then i will spend time on trying to make ridiculous ideas work.

I was at a fireside a few weeks ago and the lady talking (I think she was quoting president Kimball) Said "what do you think about when you have nothing to think about?"

-Wanting us to keep our thoughts clean.

And for some reason that really struck me, not in a religious/spiritual way as it was probably intended. . . but i sat there in a stupor. What do i think about?

Well, i can tell you now, for the most part- i create things in my mind, I see a billboard and then i think of ways i can re-create it using my face, then i think about if it had my face ,what would i be promoting? and if i had a billboard it might draw the love of my life come into my life because he was memorized by my beauty as he drove down the road he just HAD to know who i was.

And I would have companies contacting me, some wanting to use my face on their billboard, and some would like the layout and the design of the billboard they would pay me good money to design theirs. . . and my mind flows, and then i find myself calling the numbers when you see an empty billboard and asking them how much it would be for me to put something up there.

And in my mind, everything I do is amazing. . . I enjoy most things when I'm alone. . . and if I am mad, I usually plan out conversations of how i would yell at someone. And i'm funny. I like that i can think i'm funny.

I have written many love letters that i have not delivered. (and they are GOOD letters, and usually include a one way ticket to Cambodia, asking someone to run away with me)

(Ps- Keep track of notes if you write them, those letters in the wrong hands can be awful, and surprisingly they can make you look like a real psycho)

I grew to love floor plans, and have drawn up plans for houses for almost any scenario I might be in in life. And I'll tell you this- Whitney and I have an old spinster house that rocks. . . I can't wait until we start building it.

And for years I have dreamed of Arthur, We met in Provo i knew him well on dance floor and sometimes we would find ourselves in the same crowed and we would talk a bit. . . . . I think he is the most interesting person i know. . . not "one of the" but he is "the most" interesting person i know.

He moved to New York, and it was place that fit him, he wasn't from Utah and little provo could not contain him. He rode fixed gear bikes and started working at these stables in exchange for horse riding lessons.

From New York he moved to Ireland and lived on a farm, working on the farm in exchange for a place to live. . . and then he left to another part of Ireland to live on a sail boat while he fixed it up.

He is a handsome Vagabond. And one of the very few people i know that is really living, taking advantage of everything. It is beautiful.

But apart from Ireland, his amazing tatoo, his genuine love for life, his always kind interest in people, his beautiful hair and curly mustache. . . above all that- the boy can dance.

In the movies sometimes the actress and actor are so consumed in each other that the other people in the room disappear. . . and when Arthur dances with me that is how it felt. he understands rhythm, and movement and how to play with emotions.

It was exciting and erotic and sometimes a little scary.

Today, I found out that Arthur is engaged. . . sigh. . that Lucky Lucky girl.

They met in London. It really is perfect. . . As he is out discovering life he finds love.

So I will be on the look-out for a new star for my day dreams, There must be so many girls around the world who will cry themselves to sleep tonight. I love you Arthur.

Wow, this post seems psycho! especially with all the pictures, but you can't get a good idea who Arthur is without them, Sorry Arthur. . you always knew i thought the world of you.

All my best to you and Clare, you two look so perfect.